Remember the #metoo movement?
There’s a new form of harassment on the rise in Royal Oak: Carbon Harassment, aka the #C2 movement.
Perhaps this “Cruise-ader” could help us drill down on our eco-struggles by takin’ it to the streets.
He’s been noticeably absent for 30 years so maybe he’s been quietly focusing on his own personal bi-polar vortex. We could use his help to quell the noise here, but he appears more concerned with his ice cream sundae melting at Ray’s than the Ice Caps in Antarctica.
Calling all climate alarmists and dandelion sniffers. Turn off your e-bike and listen up.
There’s more carbon emitted on a Dream Cruise weekend than the 300 tons expelled during a space shuttle launch. To even the score for the media fawning over the appearance of Jay Leno, how about we drop ship Greta Thunberg in like a Bobcat over at Duggan’s Pub?
I’m sure the WOMC booth would love to have her as a special guest.
Give her a free Dream Cruise T-shirt, that’ll shut her up.
Forget Karens, that was so pre-Covid
Do you know any Gretas? You know, crunchy, female neo-hippy types. If so, feel free to share in the Meme Cruise section.
Example: I know a ‘Greta’ so green, her vibrator is Lithium Ion
The Noise Polution Data is in, and it ain’t pretty.
We have recorded noise levels in dB as it relates to CNP (Cruiser Noise Pollution) as well as other offenders, for a comparative analysis.
This is according to the consultants from the Dream Cruise Science Journal**
Let me set the stage for an evening of quiet time on Woodward:
The sun has set, your day is done, and you’re looking forward to some well-deserved me time. You’ve got many options; a relaxing bubble bath, dressing up like a furry, or surfing for tastefully nude toothless grannies on Only Fans. You could combine all three, but that would be weird.
Whatever your plan is to relax, it will be foiled as your playlist of Enya’s greatest hits will be overwhelmed by this horror viciously penetrating your bathroom window.
Oh, and rinse and repeat this holy terror, every f –g evening.
