After many years of Cruise Abuse, I’d say many locals are frankly, out of gas.
The creator of this site is a Royal Oak resident who tried over the years to deal with these cruisers politely, to no avail.
For example:
I tried using pylons so folks wouldn’t block my driveway. That didn’t work, they threw them back in my yard.
I tried scattering roofing nails on Woodward Ave to thin the herd of Cruisers. That didn’t work, it only helped Belle Tire.
I tried breaking into random classic cars to empty cans of novelty fart spray. That just made them horny.
About
Perhaps we need this satirical site to shed light on the misery we Royal Oaksters endure all summer from this endless parade of putzes. Some of us are just trying to get to CVS to pick up a specialty order of extra small condoms, hypothetically speaking. After 30 years of cruise abuse, many of us are "Dream Cruise Survivors." We want to tell our stories through our “lived experiences” or as Oprah would say, "speak our truth", whatever any of that means.
This site is dedicated to not only lampooning the Dream Cruise, but also to recalibrating its highly inaccurate portrayal, spun over the years by the media. I think you’ll find the reality of this so-called “annual event” is an inconvenient truth.
To clarify, most of us like cars and appreciate their history, legacy, and cultural impact. For many of us, however, this event is analogous to having an old-time carnival come to town but being forced to have the grungy Tilt-a-Whirl operator stay at your house, while he parades around in an ill-fitting shorty bath robe.
It enough already!
Continued...
As you scroll through this site, if the urge strikes to fire off a nasty-gram, remember, we’re stuck with not only the Dream Cruise, but much worse: the annoying subspecies of all-season joy riders that have evolved over the years into an automotive albatross. As for all the countless lists of Dream Cruise gripes and complainers on Reddit, you're welcome.
Finally, a shout out to all Royal Oaksters as well as neighboring Oakland County residents impacted by this perennial plague, forcing us to endure constant noise, traffic, and loitering.
For your viewing pleasure, slide left to right on the 'cruiser profile' below as this mockery illustrates the disparity, only WE can relate to.
